


Easy Time

by 51stCenturyFox



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Gen, Mindy and Morgan friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 10:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/51stCenturyFox/pseuds/51stCenturyFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgan twists in his seat. “You just need crayons for the wax base preservative and Jell-O powder for coloring, and the end caps off your bedframe to hold the various rouges and lipgloss. See, that was my specialty in prison. I made makeup.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easy Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kymericl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kymericl/gifts).



“So I was watching Orange Is the New Black, and wondering what my prison nickname would be,” Mindy ventures. They’re driving back from Connecticut, where Mindy has just delivered an 8.5 pound baby girl named Finola Fresh on a yacht with Morgan’s nursely assistance, and they’ve exhausted almost every other topic of conversation except for Danny, and they are definitely not going to talk about Danny...

...even though she’d overheard Morgan and Danny talking a few days ago and her name had come up. It was just a snippet of faint conversation she’d heard coming from the breakroom, which hadn’t paid off. So she’d gone into the adjacent supply closet with a glass to press against the wall, because being caught lurking outside the door would just be cuckoo, weirdo behavior. 

(Like, you know, trying to get Morgan to sleep with her. That? Had been cuckoo. And the sexual harassment suit he’d filed afterward? That was cuckoo too. Or weirdo.) 

But that was last week and they’ve just brought an R&B diva’s healthy baby girl into the world, and Mindy is on a delivery high despite being exhausted. Still, she’d lost the coin flip, so she was driving.

“Hmm. Your prison nickname.” Morgan studies her for a moment, pondering, hand to chin. “Probably...Doc. Since you’re a doctor and everything.”

Mindy frowns. “That’s not very creative. What’s up with that? Doc? Why not like, Little Boo?”

“Okay, this is a prison, not a company where they make up slogans for things, like on Mad Men.”

“Hrm. I suppose Doc isn’t that bad.”

“It’s not! It’s better than Sweet Meat, Dirty Numbers, or Lippy. I did like Lippy,” Morgan says. “That was _my_ nickname.”

“Lippy,” Mindy repeats. “Your prison nickname was Lippy.”

“Yeah. It’s a really long story.”

“Right.” Mindy clears her throat. “I was thinking, you know, maybe we should donate our medical services to the women’s prison again.”

“Oh, the inmates there would really appreciate it. I’m volunteering regularly. I read to them,” Morgan explains, enthused. 

“Like…” Mindy squints. “Les Miserables and I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings…? Stuff like that?”

“No. Well, right now it’s Fifty Shades Darker. They love it because I do all the voices, like Ana’s all…” Morgan whips out a falsetto, “Oh, Christian! I _like_ your kinky fuckery.”

Mindy’s hand goes up. “That’s good!”

“Right? I know. I should do books-on-tape.”

“I mean, I’m good. I get it. Without further explanation. And I’m kinda sorry I asked. About the specific books.”

“Wait, no. I can do Christian’s voice really, really well.”

“It’s okay, Morgan. Really,” Mindy insists.

“And the narration.” Morgan clears his throat. “‘Shaped like an oversized baby’s pacifier, it has small grooves or carvings--’ I forget the rest, but it was a butt toy...”

“STOP, Morgan!”

“I’m sorry. I’m totally ruining the sequel for you, right? Spoilers!” Morgan claps a hand to his leg. “So, can you pull over soon? I need a Five Hour Energy and some Corn Nuts.”

“Yes,” Mindy says, with a sigh, handing over a five-dollar bill.

“Do you have a ten? I want the jumbo bag.”

“Fine.”

**

“So,” Morgan says, shaking the packet of barbeque-flavored snacks, and those were a bad idea, because they did make the car smell. “You were asking about prison stuff.”

“Yeah. Yes,” Mindy says, because the alternative is ‘what did Danny say in the breakroom’ stuff, and this isn’t seventh grade. “So, um, tell me more about your time in the big house. I mean, if you don’t mind talking about it.”

“I don’t mind. It was...okay,” Morgan says, cautiously. “I mean, I won’t tell you about all the rough stuff, because you’re a civilian. Unless this car is stolen, in which case, I should definitely warn you about the rough stuff before you get arraigned and sent up, because it’s better to know. Especially the first night.”

“Nope. It’s a rental!” Mindy smiles. 

“Okay then,” Morgan begins. “The thing about prison, is that there’s a hierarchy. You know, the trusties, and the old screws, and the getters, and of course, the pretty-boy fresh meat.”

“Uh huh,” Mindy says, holding out her hand for Corn Nuts as she drives back to the city. “I guess the getters...get stuff.”

“Correct!” Morgan says. “Like, if you want to make hooch in your cell, you need extra fruit like oranges, and some sauerkraut and bread, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Mindy nods, chewing.

“Right, so they get you that stuff, in exchange for…” he makes air quotes, “ _favors_.”

“Okay,” Mindy grabs the Corn Nuts bag and another handful. “So, maybe don’t get into the favors. See, I could never do prison. I thought about joining the Army once before I got a scholarship, but I heard you can’t wear makeup in boot camp, so…”

“Oh, you can _make_ makeup!” Morgan twists in his seat. “You just need crayons for the wax base preservative and Jell-O powder for coloring, and the end caps off your bedframe to hold the various rouges and lipgloss. See, that was my specialty in prison. I made makeup.”

“For the inmates’ girlfriends on the outside?”

“No,” Morgan says. “Anyway, lip gloss was what I was best at making, hence the name ‘Lippy’.”

“Makes sense,” Mindy says, crunching. “So. Um. What do you think Danny’s name would be in prison?”

Mindy can sense Morgan’s eyes on her. “Hmm.”

“You know, like, ‘Doc,’ or ‘Other Doc’ or something?”

Morgan scrunches his face. “Doc? What? No. Maybe ‘Buns’.”

“What?” Mindy shrieks. “I get Doc and he gets Buns? What the hell, Morgan?”

“He has good, firm buns. Like the buns of a runner. I’m just saying.”

“I know he does--”

“Aha!” Morgan points at her. “A-ha, Doc! Aha, Doctor Mindy H. Lahiri!”

“It’s not H. My middle name doesn’t start with H.”

“You admire Doctor Danny’s buns,” Morgan says smugly, waggling a finger at her.

Mindy shakes her head. “I do not. You. You’re the one. Who does. Who gave him that prison name.”

“You strongly agreed, though!”

“I didn’t,” Mindy says quietly. “The buns exist. That’s all I’ll admit to.”

“It’s okay. I won’t sue you for sexual harassment if you talk about his buns,” Morgan assures her. “He has good opinions about you, you know. We were talking about you in the breakroom yesterday.”

Mindy will NOT say, ‘I know,’ to that, because she wasn’t listening. She was indexing the pap smear culture sticks in the supply closet, which is something that needs doing every quarter. “Hmm,” she says noncommittally.

“Well, we were. And he does.” Morgan tosses the empty bag on the dash divider and folds his arms across his chest.

Mindy keeps driving. “So.”

Morgan looks out the window at the scenery and the passing billboards.

“So what good opinions does Buns have about me?”

“Are we talking hypothetically? I shouldn’t tell tales out of school.”

“Would the words be different if I ask it like that?” Mindy lets out a sigh. “Okay. Hypothetically, what did Danny say about me in the hypothetical breakroom?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I can say. It was shared in confidence.”

“Well, consider it like a...prison favor,” Mindy suggests. “You should tell me because you owe me one.”

“What favor will you do for me if I tell you?” 

“I gave you ten dollars at the service station for Corn Nuts and an energy popper.”

Morgan considers this, then nods. “Right. Fair. Though you actually ate some of those. Okay. He has a good opinion of you.”

“We established that, Morgan. What is the opinion?”

“He thinks you’re a good doctor,” Morgan counts off on his fingers, “He thinks you’re too hard on yourself, he thinks your office smells good, and also, he thinks your hair smells good.”

Mindy’s eyes widen and her hands jerk on the steering wheel. “He said all of that, unprompted?”

“No, I asked him about the smells. I was wondering if he agreed with me. He did agree.”

Mindy hides a smile, tucking her chin into her collar. “You know this car smells like Corn Nuts now, right, Morgan?”

“Yeah? What? Corn Nuts is a great smell!”

“Sure it is.”

“It is.”

“So we’re good, right?” Mindy asks. “I mean, I know we’d never to discuss the events of last week ever again, but…”

“In polite company,” Morgan agrees, nodding sagely.

“No, in any company. Impolite, polite, whatever. We can pretend it didn’t happen.”

“That’s denying reality. Can we acknowledge that it happened but then _also_ not discuss it in polite company?” Morgan asks.

“Yes,” agrees Mindy.

Morgan pauses, wadding up the empty snack bag. “Then we’re good. Good?”

“Good.” Mindy says, and they’re almost back home. “Okay, well...thanks, Morgan.”

“No problem. It was good getting out of the city. At least it wasn’t a water birth. I mean, technically on a yacht it was, but you know, nobody likes getting into a lukewarm bathtub with placenta.”

Mindy nods frantically. “Truer words.” 

“Drop me off at work? I took Five Hour Energy and I don’t need to clean my apartment.”

“OK. If you want something to do, you can inventory the--”

“Pap sticks? On it,” Morgan says. “But that’s your prison favor for the month.”

“I only get one a month, Lippy?” Mindy calls after him as he slides out of the car. He slams the door, grinning, and bounds away.


End file.
